Heat up your bedroom with expert advice:

Sex can be a lot of things, from casual fun to a deeply intimate expression of love.

In new relationships, sex can feel especially thrilling. Learning about your partner’s body and discovering what gives them the greatest pleasure is rewarding in a way that few other things can ever rival.

Every little sight and sound is a new surprise: we’re all different, and we respond to things in different ways. That is why the “rules” to enjoying great sex aren’t the same for everybody.

For some, sex can even lose its appeal.

This can be for all sorts of different reasons, from falling into a tired routine to not understanding your partner’s needs as well as you maybe thought you did. This can cause its own problems, such as performance anxiety and insecurities in the relationship.

Luckily, there is plenty of help available here to help you explore and take control of your sexuality.

In this article, we’ve tracked down the most popular advice for men and women to help your experiences in the bedroom stay fresh and exciting.

Read on for the top-rated books to spice up your sex life ♥

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She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

by Ian Kerner

From the publisher: “Every man’s must-read. Tell your guy to put down the remote and pick up She Comes First.”
—Cosmopolitan

Ian Kerner offers a radical new philosophy for pleasuring women in She Comes First—an essential guidebook to oral sex from the author of Be Honest—You’re Not That Into Him Either.

The New York Times praises Kerner’s “cool sense of humor and an obsessive desire to inform,” as he “encourages men through an act that many find mystifying.”

An indispensable aid to a healthier, more fulfilling sex life for her and him, She Comes First offers techniques and philosophy that have already earned raves from the likes of bestselling author and Loveline co-host Dr. Drew Pinsky as well as Playgirl magazine, which cheers, “Hallelujah!”

Length: 240 pages
Genre: Sexuality/Relationships
Publisher: HarperCollins
Average customer review: 4.4 out of 5 stars (993 reviews)
Buy it: Amazon

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Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure

by Sheri Winston

From the publisher: Winner, 2010 Book of the Year Award by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors & Therapists.

Find out why Dr. Christiane Northrup has called Women’s Anatomy of Arousal “the most comprehensive, user-friendly, practical and uplifting book on women’s sexuality I’ve ever read. It’s the gold standard!”

Women have a largely unknown network of structures responsible for arousal and orgasm that their owners and even most medical professionals don’t know about. We’re not just talking about Ye Olde G-Spot here. Women have an entire erectile network that, if properly stimulated, can elevate their erotic experience from “Oh!” to “Oh! Oh! Oh!”

Join celebrated sexuality teacher Sheri Winston as she integrates ancient wisdom, lost knowledge and modern sexuality information in a sexy, fun, empowering guidebook that illuminates every woman’s secret paths to fabulous, orgasmically abundant sex. Whether you’re a woman or a man who loves women, this book is for you!

There’s great information here, but that’s not why Winston wrote the book. She wrote it to transform people’s lives and support them to reclaim their erotic birthright. And what she shares works! When people apply the information and techniques she provides, the result is often a whole new level of sexual pleasure. Many women experience their first ejaculations and/or become multi- or mega-orgasmic. Men learn how to make their female partner REALLY happy.

Women’s Anatomy of Arousal includes discussions of anatomy and energetics, female ejaculation and expanded orgasm, and much more. It’s packed with sidebars providing great tips to women and their lovers. There’s even a short chapter for guys (“The Easy Girl’s Guide to Making It Easy for Guys”) summarizing the main points of the book!

Winston’s background includes over twenty years as a nurse-midwife, gynecology practitioner and student of the ancient erotic traditions. Over the years, she has developed her own unique approach to sexuality education, called Wholistic Sexuality. She gets rave reviews as a teacher. Now her teaching is available in this fun, fascinating, immensely readable book that can transform your sex life for the better.

Winston is the executive director of the Kingston, NY-based Center for the Intimate Arts.

Length: 274 pages
Genre: Sexuality/Relationships
Publisher: Amazon Digital Services
Average customer review: 4.5 out of 5 stars (207 reviews)
Buy it: Amazon

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The Modern Kama Sutra: An Intimate Guide to the Secrets of Erotic Pleasure

by Kamini Thomas & Kirk Thomas

From the publisher: Transform your love-making into erotic ecstasy with this book that unlocks the secrets of the Kama Sutra – the most ancient, renowned and explicit guide to sexual pleasure.

‘Pleasures are as necessary for the well-being of the body as food.’ – Kama Sutra

The Modern Kama Sutra opens up a new and exotic world of sexual pleasure that will change your sex life for ever.

Inspired by the ancient text of the Kama Sutra, this fully illustrated book offers over 40 easy-to-follow explicit positions (try positions such as ‘Splitting the Bamboo’, ‘The Congress of the Cow’, ‘Yab Yum’ and the ‘Canopy of Stars’), step-by step instructions and practical tips and 200 stunning colour photographs that guarantee to enhance your erotic pleasure and improve your sexual technique.

The Modern Kama Sutra is for the modern couple, catering for both experienced lovers and for those wanting to experiment. You will learn how to heighten your awareness of your own and your partner’s bodies, and achieve an emotional intimacy and sexual intensity never before experienced.

– Why not try fast sex sequences for instant pleasure: use all kinds of locations, from the kitchen table and bathroom shower to the living room sofa and even the office floor!

– Learn how massage and intimate touching can enhance your sexual desire. Discover how to indulge the body and the senses with separate chapters on seduction, foreplay and oral sex.

Length: 179 pages
Genre: Sexuality/Relationships
Publisher: HarperElement
Average customer review: 4.0 out of 5 stars (217 reviews)
Buy it: Amazon

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Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship

by Stephen Snyder, M.D.

From the publisher: Can sex survive monogamy?

Yes, once you understand how sexual emotions really work. This acclaimed, paradigm-shifting guide turns traditional sex therapy inside-out to reveal the hidden rules for great sex.

Gentle, compassionate, and filled with compelling stories from Dr. Stephen Snyder’s thirty years as a sex therapist working with over 1,500 individuals and couples, Love Worth Making is essential reading for anyone hoping to keep sexual inspiration alive in a committed relationship.

Length: 289 pages
Genre: Sexuality/Relationships
Publisher: St. Martin’s Press
Average customer review: 4.8 out of 5 stars (117 reviews)
Buy it: Amazon

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Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century

by Barbara Carrellas

From the publisher: If you think sexual and spiritual bliss can’t be found in today’s fast-paced world, you haven’t experienced Urban Tantra. Celebrating the 10th anniversary of Urban Tantra, acclaimed sex educator Barbara Carrellas radically updates the ancient practice of Tantra for modern sexual explorers desiring to discover new frontiers.

With a juicy mix of erotic how-to and heart-centered spiritual wisdom, this updated edition includes a brand-new introduction, up-to-date references and resources, a new take on the possibilities and responsibilities of Tantra in today’s world, plus new and cutting-edge information to reach an expanded community—added information on multi-partner play, more intersections for Tantra and BDSM, practices for asexuals and aromantics, expanded practices for trans and gender nonconforming people, and more.

With more than one hundred easy-to-follow techniques for expanded orgasmic states and solo and partner play (as well as more adventurous practices), this in-depth guide reveals the delicious worlds of ecstasy available to all, no matter one’s gender, sexual preference, or erotic tastes. Urban Tantra expands the notions of pleasure and opens new heights of intimacy and sexual fulfillment.

Length: 311 pages
Genre: Sexuality/Relationships
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
Average customer review: 4.1 out of 5 stars (112 reviews)
Buy it: Amazon

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Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men

by Amy Jo Goddard & Kurt Brungardt

From the publisher: For men, the intimate workings of the female body have long remained one of the great mysteries of the universe. What gives her the most pleasure? Where should you be touching her, and how?

Fortunately, there are some people who can offer men the empirical knowledge gained from a lifetime of pleasing women and getting pleased by them. This frank, frolicsome, and wonderfully illuminating book draws on the sexual advice and sex secrets of lesbians to help men become better lovers. A ground-breaking dialogue between straight men and gay women, and an erotic look inside the often hidden world of lesbian sex, Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men reveals a whole new approach to pleasure for men and the women they love.

At the same time, this book proves that while sex is something we all do naturally, a little focused effort—and a few simple lessons—can open up a whole new world of enjoyment.

Length: 320 pages
Genre: Sexuality/Relationships
Publisher: Plume
Average customer review: 4.1 out of 5 stars (48 reviews)
Buy it: Amazon

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Slow Sex: The Path to Fulfilling and Sustainable Sexuality

by Diana Richardson

From the publisher: A revolutionary practice for couples to enhance sexuality and reach higher states of consciousness

– How to make sex a conscious decision, not an accidental encounter.
– Discusses how slowness increases sensitivity and awakens the body’s innate mechanism for ecstasy.
– Reveals how sexuality can be sustainable and enjoyable well into old age.

While fast, hot, orgasm-driven sex can bring momentary satisfaction, in the long run it can become boring and mechanical, causing many couples to lose interest and stop making time for physical intimacy. The first step to revive a waning sex life or make a healthy one more fulfilling, says author Diana Richardson, is to make sex a conscious decision rather than an accidental encounter. Focusing on eye contact, subtle sensations, and deep breathing, Diana’s practice of slow sex awakens the body’s innate mechanism for ecstasy, unlocking the door to extraordinary realms of sensitivity, sensuality, and higher consciousness.

Exploring the healing, spiritual power of slow sex, this book offers a step-by-step guide for committed couples to transform sex into a meditative, loving union of complementary energies. It explains how slow sex increases sensitivity and sexual vitality and how, because it creates and restores love, slow sex is loving sex. With a focus on coolness rather than heat, this practice provides couples a way to reach a shared meditative state and use it as a vehicle to achieve higher consciousness. Illustrating different positions for eye contact, deep sustained penetration, and soft penetration, this book reveals that sex truly can be sustainable and enjoyable well into old age.

Length: 176 pages
Genre: Sexuality/Relationships
Publisher: Destiny Books
Average customer review: 4.3 out of 5 stars (22 reviews)
Buy it: Amazon

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The Little Black Book of Sex Positions

by Dan and Jennifer Baritchi

From the publisher: If you think there are only three positions that get the job done, then it’s time to get out of your sexual rut and start having a ball! The Little Black Book of Sex Positions exposes in glorious detail hundreds of sexy moves that can lead to mind-blowing ecstasy for you and your lover. The positions offered here are the next best thing to having an experienced partner right by your side . . . or behind, or face-to-face.

If your rolls in the hay have become a bit ho-hum, or if you just want to expand your spicy repertoire, this hot little how-to will having you flexing muscles you never knew you had with sexy positions you’ve always wanted to try like the YMCA, Forbidden Fruit, Pirate’s Bounty, Rodeo, Deep Impact, and much more.

In a hardcover edition with full-color exciting yet tasteful illustrations, The Little Black Book of Sex Positions is handsome enough to keep on your nightstand, or to give to someone naughty and nice. You’ll never think about “little black book” the same way again. Start stretching!

Length: 225 pages
Genre: Sexuality/Relationships
Publisher: Skyhorse
Average customer review: 3.9 out of 5 stars (119 reviews)
Buy it: Amazon

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Good Sex: Getting Off without Checking Out

by Jessica Graham

From the publisher: Jessica Graham demonstrates that a deep spiritual life and an extraordinary sex life are not mutually exclusive in this keenly personal and unflinchingly frank guide to finding mindfulness in sex without losing the fun and adventure.

Not only a tool kit for creating a rich and deeply satisfying sex life, this playful, explicit, and transformative book conveys the deeper message of how combining meditation with sex can bring about profound spiritual awakenings. Graham discusses everything from open-eyed orgasms to threesomes to how to deal with a partner with a low sex drive.

From a sex-positive and non-traditional stance Good Sex explores non-monogamy, the benefits of pornography, sexual trauma, consent, and much more.

Length: 305 pages
Genre: Sexuality/Relationships
Publisher: North Atlantic Books
Average customer review: 4.9 out of 5 stars (37 reviews)
Buy it: Amazon

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Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex

by Nina Hartley

From the publisher: Legendary porn star Nina Hartley’s guide to thrilling, liberating, mind-blowing, soul-fulfilling, and intimacy-building sex!

Witty, smart, and frankly provocative, Nina Hartley knows sex. As a sex performer, sexual adventurer, and sex educator, she’s done the fieldwork and has taken extensive notes. Now, she’s ready to share her research. Let’s just say that she’s had all the sex-the good, the bad, and the indifferent-so you won’t necessarily have to!

Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex is for sexual pioneers and enthusiastic novices. Unabashedly erotic, the book covers a lot of territory, allowing readers to sample the whole smorgasbord or just nibble at what they see as the choicest bits. To start things off, Nina includes explicitly detailed chapters on foreplay, oral sex, masturbation, toys, and games. Sexual adventurers (and voyeurs) will find chapters on swinging, three-ways, anal sex, erotic domination, sensual submission, and much more.

Nina is a strong advocate of safe sex, physically and emotionally, and she helps readers establish personal ground rules. But as a sexual liberationist and a feminist, her core belief is that, between consenting adults, all sexual behaviors are a matter of personal choice. Whether you’re trying to reignite the passion with a longtime spouse, or explore new terrain with a new lover, Nina offers a variety of ideas to achieve exhilarating, deeply satisfying, intimate, and profoundly liberating sex.

Length: 368 pages
Genre: Sexuality/Relationships
Publisher: Avery
Average customer review: 4.5 out of 5 stars (42 reviews)
Buy it: Amazon

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