A strong and healthy relationship can be one of the most important foundations in our lives. Unfortunately, we often take for granted how vital it is to care for and nurture them in ways that keep them from losing their spark or becoming unbalanced.
To help you and your partner enjoy a happy, long-term relationship, we’ve selected the best relationship books for couples that deserve your attention.
Whether you’re currently facing difficulties right now, or simply want to know how best to strengthen the bond you have with a loved one, the insights these books offer are sure to help in a professional yet down-to-earth way.
The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships
by John M. Gottman & Joan DeClaire
From the publisher: A groundbreaking, practical program for transforming troubled relationships into positive ones.
From the country’s foremost relationship expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. John M. Gottman comes a powerful, simple five-step program, based on twenty years of innovative research, for greatly improving all of the relationships in your life—with spouses and lovers, children, siblings, and even your colleagues at work. In The Relationship Cure, Dr. Gottman:
- Reveals the key elements of healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of what he calls “emotional connection.”
- Introduces the powerful new concept of the emotional “bid,” the fundamental unit of emotional connection.
- Provides remarkably empowering tools for improving the way you bid for emotional connection and how you respond to others’ bids.
What Critics Say
“This is the best book on relationships I have ever read. … John Gottman has decoded the subtle secrets that can either enrich or destroy the quality of our ties with others.” – Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., author of After the Fight: Using Your Disagreements to Build a Stronger Relationship
“John Gottman is our leading explorer of the inner world of relationships. In The Relationship Cure, he has found gold once again.” – William J. Doherty, Ph.D., author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart
“When he says his five steps will help you build better connections with the people you care about, you know that they have been demonstrated to work.” – E. Mavis Heatherington, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Virginia
Length: 336 pages
Genre: Relationships, self-help, psychology
Publisher: Harmony
Average customer review: 4.05 out of 5 stars (1,864 ratings)
Buy it: Amazon
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
by Gary Chapman
From the publisher: Simple ideas, lasting love.
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love—that’s the challenge! How can you keep your relationship fresh and growing amid the demands, conflicts, and just plain boredom of everyday life?
In the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages, you’ll discover the secret that has transformed millions of relationships worldwide. Whether your relationship is flourishing or failing, Dr. Gary Chapman’s proven approach to showing and receiving love will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your partner—starting today.
The 5 Love Languages is as practical as it is insightful. Updated to reflect the complexities of relationships today, this new edition reveals intrinsic truths and applies relevant, actionable wisdom in ways that work.
Includes the Couple’s Personal Profile assessment so you can discover your love language and that of your loved one.
What Critics Say
Over 12 million copies sold!
A New York Times bestseller for 10 years running!
Length: 209 pages
Genre: Relationships, self-help, psychology
Publisher: Northfield Publishing
Average customer review: 4.25 out of 5 stars (268,490 ratings)
Buy it: Amazon
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
by John Gray
From the publisher: Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.
Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this phenomenal book has helped men and women realize how different they really are and how to communicate their needs in such a way that conflict doesn’t arise and intimacy is given every chance to grow!
What Critics Say
A #1 New York Times Bestseller!
“A valuable, much-needed book. A contribution to the understanding of the communication styles of men and women.” – Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love You Want
“Gray offers a Berlitz of the heart, a translation of that foreign language your spouse is speaking. And hearing.” – USA Today
Length: 368 pages
Genre: Relationships, self-help, psychology
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks
Average customer review: 3.55 out of 5 stars (153,907 ratings)
Buy it: Amazon
Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic
by Esther Perel
From the publisher: A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?
In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn’t always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.
While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel’s take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the “X” back in sex.
What Critics Say
“Mating in Captivity … articulates a poignant and unacknowledged modern crisis for the first time.” – The Evening Standard (London)
“A charming blend of wit and wisdom … this book will give you a fresh perspective on long-term love.” – Gold Coast Bulletin (Australia)
“Well-argued points written with considerable eloquence.” – Jerusalem Post
“This is a brave book … refreshing.” – The Times Higher Education Supplement
“So honest it hurts.” – Irish Times
“An excellent book, full of provocative prose and entertaining case illustrations.” – Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy
Length: 272 pages
Genre: Relationships, self-help, psychology
Publisher: Harper
Average customer review: 4.15 out of 5 stars (14,377 ratings)
Buy it: Amazon
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert
by John M. Gottman & Nan Silver
From the publisher: John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life’s work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship.
Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
What Critics Say
“An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.” – Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
“Gottman stays refreshingly down to earth, rather than on Mars and Venus.” – Bill Marvel and Geoffrey Norman, American Way
“Gottman comes to this endeavor with the best of qualifications: he’s got the spirit of a scientist and the soul of a romantic.” – Newsweek
“Twenty-five years of landmark marital research.” – USA Today
“Offers something every relationship can benefit from.” – Seattle Post-Intelligencer
“Astonishing new research!” – Woman’s World
Length: 271 pages
Genre: Relationships, self-help, psychology
Publisher: Harmony
Average customer review: 4.22 out of 5 stars (16,474 ratings)
Buy it: Amazon
Stay in Touch!
What relationship books for couples have you found helpful in building a strong and healthy relationship? Drop us a comment to let us know what has helped you or your loved one to come closer together.
I really liked Mating in Captivity. I read through it with my husband, and we both thought it was great.
Hi Ellen,
It’s certainly a very popular book for couples. It’s always great when a book finds a good balance for both partners.
Thanks for the help. Are these good for both men and women, or are any of them mainly focused at one gender?
Hi Allie,
It’s a pleasure! These books are great for anyone in a relationship. We wanted to offer a selection of books that are particularly valuable for couples in need of relationship advice.
Gottman has been such a huge help for me over the years. I really appreciate his insights. I strongly recommend his books for anyone looking for sensible relationship advice.
Hi Victoria,
We’re glad to hear that you’ve found Gottman’s books to be helpful. They’ve been a great resource for many people.
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